Conversational Pace
It takes two voices to make a conversation. It only takes one voice to ruin a run.
Transcript of a conversation between a runner and well, that very same runner during a race.
Mind: You need to back off. Seriously.
Runner: Really?
Mind: Yes.
Runner: But, I think I can hold on.
Mind: You’ll break. Believe me. Have I ever lied to you?
Runner: Well…
Mind: You’re focusing on the wrong things.
Runner: It does hurt now that you mention it.
Mind: Exactly. Do you think it’s going to hurt less if you keep trying?
Runner: Well, no.
Mind: Do you want to finish?
Runner: Yes.
Mind: Do you want to finish strong?
Runner: Of course!
Mind: Well, you’re not going to do either if you don’t back off now.
Runner: But I’m finally with this pack. I think I can stay with them. I’ve never been here before.
Mind: That’s because they’ve always been better than you. Sure, they’ll drag you along for a little while and then they will drop you. Plain and simple. If it happened before it’s probably going to happen again.
Runner: But, maybe I can do it this time.
Mind: And that means maybe you can’t. Listen, someone else will come up from behind. Another pack. A better one for you. They’ll pick you up and this will all feel better. It will be easier. You can talk to them… instead of having to talk to me.
Runner: What if you just help me? You know, motivate me to stick with this group. If I could just make it a little further I’d be close enough to the finish to..
Mind: To what? You’ve never been this far up, this fast! You’ve never been this nervous! You’ve never had so much to lose! You know you’ve never been here before! You admitted that like 100 meters ago!
Runner: But I am here. I’m here right now.
Mind: Yeah, now you are. But maybe not later. Later it will get worse. It will be harder. Your lungs will burn more. There will be more concrete in those legs and ache in those knees and tension in those shoulders of yours.
Runner: I know.
Mind: I know you know. And why do you know?
Runner: Because you tell me.
Mind: And why do I do that?
Runner: To save me.
Mind: From what?
Runner: From potentially failing.
Mind: Exactly. And what else am I protecting you from?
Runner: From getting my heart broken.
Mind: Exactly. You always want to go out and do something crazy. And putting yourself out there where you might fail? Where you might be let down or heartbroken? That’s nuts!
Runner: I know… I know it is.
Mind: Listen, you just get excited and set these big goals and put in all this work and then put yourself in a position to maybe fail. You’re passionate. I get it. I’m just glad I’m here to stop you from doing something that might not work out. It’s okay.
Runner: Is it? Mind: Is it what? Runner: Is it okay?
Mind: You’re right. It’s not okay. You put me in a bad position. I have to be the bad guy all the time. You make me say these things.
Runner: That’s not what I meant.
Mind: What did you mean?
Runner: It’s not okay to be okay all the time.
Mind: Of course it is. Okay is what we know. Okay is comfortable. Okay is safe!
Runner: I’m sorry.
Mind: It’s okay. I forgive you.
Runner: I didn’t ask for your forgiveness.
Mind: You literally just said I’m sorry. Are you even listening to yourself?
Runner: No, I’m sorry because what I’m about to do might hurt.
Mind: What-Are-You-Talking-About?
Runner: I’m going to leave this group I’m running with.
Mind: Good. That’s what I said. Back off…
Runner: No. I’m going to push. Ahead. I’m going to go. Now.
Mind: But you can’t!
Runner: Maybe I can’t. But if I can’t then I want to know I can’t. I don’t want to just believe I can’t.
Mind: You might fail! All that work we did! There’s no guarantees here!
Runner: I know that. I didn’t do all this work to guarantee I would succeed. I did it to give myself a chance to succeed. Nothing more. I know that now. I ran all those meters so I could get here to these meters with you. So I could have this fight with you. So I could be in this moment with you. I did all that work, every day, so I could be in this position to fail with you or succeed with you. I didn’t do the work to only have one option. It was always done knowing I might break. We might break. I have to see. I have to go. I understand if you can’t come. I get it if you need to stay behind.
Mind: Are you sure?
Runner: Yes.
Mind: Well, then let’s go. I’m coming.
Runner: Seriously? You’ll come? Just like that?
Mind: Of course.
Runner: But, all these years and races and moments? Every time you told me to hold back or drop off or quit. You told me I shouldn’t. You told me I couldn’t. You told me I wouldn’t.
Mind: Yup. That was then. This is now. And right now, we can always try our best. Doesn’t mean this is going to work. Maybe it won’t. And maybe it won’t means maybe it will, right?
Runner: What? What are you talking about? You always doubted. You made me believe I didn’t deserve to believe in myself.
Mind: Yup.
Runner: Just because I fought back? Just because I said no to you? Just because I stood up for myself? Just because I decided? Just because I stopped listening to you and chose to listen to myself? Now you’re going to come with me? You’re going to support me and believe in me?
Mind: You know you’ve always just been talking to yourself, right?
I was in St. Pete’s Beach for a few days last week at an event. I left sunny Portland, Oregon… yes, SUNNY Portland, Oregon and arrived to a cloudy and windy and rainy and cold Florida. Seriously. It was a little disheartening. It drizzles for 7 straight months here in the PNW. So, any chance to see and feel some sunshine and basically not be damp is looked forward to. Alas, it was not to be.
I ran my first run in the dark with blustery and chilly conditions matched with incessant rain. It sucked. The next day was wet and cold and cloudy. The greater Tampa areas was quickly becoming JV Portland to me. My last night was more of the same. But, I was different. I decided to stop being such a Debbie Downer. Sure, it was still cloudy and cold. But I was running on some hard packed sand along the Gulf of Mexico. And the wind, as cold as it was, felt cleansing. I decided to embrace the conditions I was running in instead of fighting against them. You know what? It was still cold. It was still damp. It was still windy. And I had a really nice run.
It was a good reminder that I may not be in control of the weather… at least not anymore. That’s been handed off to a different deep state actor. But I am in control of my response to the weather. And almost as an exclamation point to this epiphany (an epiphany that I’ve had before and consistently take for granted… until I forget about it completely… and then am reminded of it when I have the recycled epiphany again) our closest star in all it’s glorious majesty dropped out of the clouds and gifted me with a sunset that would set your heart on fire.
This was just my way of telling you that you may not have control over the weather or when you get sick or how the refs call a game against the Chiefs or whether people will use terms like fascism or tariffs the right way. But you’ve got control over a whole lot of other stuff. Don’t give that control up. And one more thing… watch more sunsets.
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Well, another issue written and more importantly another issue read that. Thank you for reading. I hope you enjoyed this latest issue. Cheers to you and one more thanks to everyone that’s a paid supporter of this newsletter or thinking about becoming a paid supporter. I truly appreciate it.
Take care of yourself and take care of each other.
Until that next starting line…
Coach Bennett
Whoa! 🤯Wasn’t sure where the article was going and I got confused a couple times. Stuck with it. So good. The mind is a powerful thing.
Saved, will read on repeat. I saw myself in this conversation. Thank you! :)